Currahee!

Disappointment

2006-11-19T17:50:00.000-08:00

Some one asked me recently, "How do you handle disappointment?"

I was at a loss; there was nothing I could say to her. How DID I handle disappointment? My lack of an answer could mean one of two things, either I'd never experienced disappointment or I was so good at dealing with it that it didn't deserve any attention. There was a third option; may be I had never wanted anything in life so bad that disappointment was possible!

Ironically, the very next day I received notification that my application for admission to the MBA at London Business School was rejected.

How would I handle disappointment?

Rough around the edges

2006-04-15T18:15:00.000-07:00

What is it about a straightforward simple approach that puts off people?

Is it threatening? Can it be deemed as arrogant? Is it the same as being brute force? A lot of people, to my chagrin and misfortune, seem to think so.

There is this un-understandable resistance that the most people have towards a direct unencumbered, free of fluff approach to life. The ability to to know one's limits and to realize when you're wrong is an ability that is sadly missing in this world.

I make no friends being the way I am and i intend being the way I am for as long as I be!

But naturally!

2005-10-11T13:07:00.000-07:00

There are those that are born to lead and then there are those that learn to do so.

I wish I could have belonged to the former, to have the flair and magnetism to draw all and sundry to me to do my bidding. But as some one aptly put it, I need that one person to be better than I, some one that I can report to, some one that will commend or condemn as the situation warrants. For this reason, more than anything else, I will never make a natural leader, never be top honcho. The inherent insecurity about my capabilities prevents me to flying high without looking over my shoulders.

But then I have never been one that things have come to naturally. Even the things I like doing, like driving, are a learnt process. Unlike Sbh, who had to sit in a car but once to start driving like he had been driving in mom's womb, it took me an entire month filled with embarrassing questions and close calls to actually get hang of the steering wheel. Even now, after 10 years behind the wheel, 1 in a car that allows me be ONE with it, I make rookie mistakes!

Damn I wish I was a natural!

I am hoping I have one shot at redemption - the MBA. Maybe I am doing it because I don't like the field I am in, maybe I think with an MBA a lot more doors will open up, maybe the idea is to leap frog the years it takes to work up the ladder to upper management - whatever the reason, I am hoping that the gut wrenchingly long and intensive application process opens a door within and shows me 'the meaning of being me'.

I had a teacher who once told my mom that she needs to find some one to tap my potential - apparently she saw something in me that no one else saw. Till recently that comment was the basis of my belief in myself, the bedrock of my confidence. Now I realize that I need to tap that potential, or more importantly, see if it still there!!

Long ago I had told a friend that I want to to prove to myself that I am not as bad as I think I am; she turned around and told me to to prove myself to be as good as I thought I was - ten years hence, I think it is time to see who's perception of life wins out.

H-1B visa stamped at Tijuana consulate – my story!

2005-10-07T11:27:00.000-07:00

ME:
B.E from India and M.S from USA. On OPT for a year after M.S
This is the 3rd H-1B I have but never traveled on H-1, so this was the first H-1B visa stamping
Valid F-1 and one expired B1/B2 in PP
One rejected B1/B2 visa application stamp in PP
Live and work in San Diego
Work at a very large corporation. This is just letting you know the situation because some one else might have to carry company tax filings, etc.
Set up an appointment on Sept 1 for Oct 6th
Cash: $105 DD + $50 reciprocity fee + $16 cabs + $10 food + $6 immigration fee = $200.00 – I carried $500.00 and kept the wallet in the front pocket at all times
No criminal record – a couple of speeding tickets because of a heavy foot!

APPOINTMENT:
Got on to NVARS – https://www.nvras.com/ (note that it is HTTPS)
Filled in my details and got the reference # that is important for getting the date
My advice – if the date you seek at your choice of consulate is available online, do it online – that is the simplest way
BUT – if you are having issues getting the dates, waking up in the morning and seeing that the dates are all take up – here is what you should keep in mind:
Check the NVARS website at 10.00pm PST and see what is available
Call the # 1-888-840-0032 at 4.00am PST next day and book your appt.
You cannot go online and do it at 4.00am because not all consulates are open at that time – but you can over the phone.

DOCUMENTS:
1. DS-156 – mark N/A for empty spaces
2. DS -157
3. Passport
4. 5 2x2 size photos – 1 is stapled to DS-156. The other 4 were backup.
5. I-797 (Documents 1 -5 are the essentials; should be together)
6. LCA + I-129
7. Employment letter
8. All previous I-797
9. All previous I-20s
10. EAD card (Important if you were on OPT and now moving to H-1)
11. All previous employment/offer letters
12. All paycheck – I went back 1 year but had just 1 from the present employer since I just started with them
13. Last 3 bank statements
14. All previous tax filings (W2 + tax return papers)
15. B.E and M.S. degree certificates and transcripts
16. Proof of residence (lease + utility bills)

BIG DAY:
Drove my car down to the border at San Ysidro; reached at 7.15am and parked on the RIGHT side of the bridge in the $8.00/day lot. The right side makes it easier to cross over to Mexico, just that when you come back you have to war some more.
Walked through 1 revolving gate and then another a short distance up and was in Mexico. No one was there, there were no officials, and I just walked through.
You go in and BAM – you feel like you are in India; just with a different language. The sounds, the heat, the dust, the dirt is all reminiscent of good ole home!
The taxi stand is right there – it is the yellow taxis that are predominant. You could wait for a white LIBRE taxi and pay just $5.00 to the consulate but I didn’t want to wait so I took the yellow one. The guy said 10, I said 8, he agreed and we were on our way.
Takes 15 mins to get there; the consulate is a 2 level white building with barricades and a cop car out front. Perpendicular to the consulate is the BANAMEX bank; half a minute walk.
I was there at 7.30 – had to wait till 9.00 for the damn bank to open so sat in the shade and ate biscuits and read the newspaper!
You will see a line outside the consulate that seems to get bigger every minute – don’t worry, when you get back from the bank, the line will be gone OR if the line is there, go and tell the guard that you have a 10am appt.
At the bank I paid $105 and got the receipt for the DD – they will check the PP; make sure that when you get the receipt, it has your PP # on it.
Got to the consulate; some one will check your essential documents and you will be let in soon.
You go through security screening – make sure you have NO electronics. They made me open my bag and checked the pens too! In fact I had used my valet key for the car and left the electronic key at home. Paranoia serves us well sometimes! So no cell phones, no flash drives, mp3 players, etc.
You go up to a semi covered seating area where after a 30 min wait you go into the consulate
This is NOT the interview; you are directed to one of four tables where your documents are verified, information entered, fingerprints taken and you are photographed. They verify your identity and some essential information
Thereafter you come back to the semi-enclosed area and await your actual interview turn – another 30 mins wait.
When you are sent back inside; a 15 minute wait will take you to the interview window. DAMN NERVE RACKING PROCESS!
At the interview window be polite, straightforward and CLEAR!
She asked me to verify the type of visa, the company I work for, my degree, the completion of my education – she then stamped my F-1 visa as CANCELLED WITHOUT PREJUDICE.
She then asked me to place my left index finger on the reader for verification
I was asked for the employment letter and LCA – she merely glanced through it and then told me to pay the reciprocity fee and collect the visa at 3pm. For a minute there when she was checking the LCA – my heart skipped a beat. Only speak when spoken to and answer short and sweet – just an observation. What seemed like a 10 minute interview was in reality a 120s one!
I went out; turned right from the gate and walked 50 feet to another window. There you enter, get screened again and go in and pay the $50.00. Please keep the receipt that you are given, it is your proof of payment when you collect the PP.
I finished this at 11.15am. That gave me 4 hours to do NOTHING.
Went to the small restaurant next to the consulate and ate a burrito – tell the guy NO SPANISH and he will give you an English menu with dollar values.
Spent the next hour eating and reading.
You could take a cab to REVOLUCION and walk arnd and do a little shopping but if I did that without my significant other – I’d be shot back home!! That reminds me – you should bring along some one or your wife/gf etc. It is safe arnd the consulate, no problems whatsoever. Off course the other person should have a valid visa and documents to re-enter the USA!
So I basically hung arnd and read for 4 hrs!!
Around 2pm a guy sets up a cart outside with fresh fruit. It is amazing!!! All the fruit you can think of with masala and lime on top – MMMMM YUMMM!!!
At 3pm a guard calls out each name and you go to the entrance window, show your receipt and collect the PP. Make sure everything is correct on the visa and you are given back your original I-797 (usually in an envelope stapled to the PP).
Take the cab back to the border.
At the border, when walking to the checkpoint, on the right is the immigration office. It is yellowish with blue tiles with 3 flags out front. Stop there and get in to line. You will be called inside in around 15 – 30 mins depending on the crowd and the officers inside.
Inside you get the new I-94, he will staple it to the PP, and you pay the $6.00 fee.
At the checkpoint they’ll ask if you are getting anything back and then herald you to the luggage scanner. That takes all of 2mins.
Walk to the parking lot- make sure you have kept the parking ticket carefully!

HOME SWEET HOME!!!

MISC:
1. Buy only closed water/soda bottles
2. The Peso sign is similar to the dollar one.
3. You can buy a calling card from a shop near the consulate – I bought a 30 peso one which works out to $3.00. Put the card in the public phone and leave it there till the end of the call. Dial 001- 10 digit US #. The amnt remaining on the card is on screen
4. People at the consulate are surprisingly polite and very helpful; any issues you have will be handled well
5. Restroom in the consulate is near the interview windows; ask the guard
6. I did not get the Mexico visa/permit. To be absolutely bullet-proof, you might want to – it takes 3-4 weeks.
7. Did not use ANY service; personally I feel it is a waste of good money. I admit I did consider using someone but decided against it; and on hind sight I think it is smooth sailing on your own.
8. Keep a cap and shades – there is no cover anywhere unless you are inside.
9. Only soda vending machine inside – no food.
10. Keep your drivers license handy; you are required to show ID a couple of times

Today is tomorrow!

2005-06-19T20:36:00.000-07:00

Hence, as promised, we went surfing! Turns out it is a difficult sport to learn, but easier than I imagined it to be. It's all about balance, timing and placement you see! You say, well, any sport is all about those. True, I say, but then life is all about those too!

Funny things happened today. Australia went down to England by three wickets, the former's second consecutive loss. All the pundits will look smug and say that this was bound to happen, no team can dominate a sport for so long. While that was the exact feeling I had when I read the news, something tells me that the professionalism and arrogance that is the Australian cricket team will bounce back with a fury. England and Bangladesh had better savor their few minutes in the spot-light.

Even more bizarre was the 6-car Grand-prix of Indianapolis. Michael and Rubens did another 1-2 for Ferrari, Jordan came in 3rd and 4th while Minardi finished 5th and 6th. Considering there was no other car on the grid, any other result would have been to much to stomach after the sheer madness that was race-day morning. So what does a fan of the sport and of Ferrari and Michael in particular, think of today. On one hand I want to say, 'too bad' to the Michelin shod cars, they have only themselves and Michelin to blame. On the other hand, as is the case in a lot of unfortunate instances, the sport is the ultimate loser. I pray F-1 redeems itself in the eyes of the fans that were the ultimate losers today. I for one am thrilled that Michael, Rubens and Ferrari made most of the opportunity they were handed on a silver platter!

Oh yes! To the morons who flung debris on to the track in protest - turn yourselves in and demand to be put to death by firing-squad. What sort of madman throws debris in front of a racing machine traveling at 212mph? A burst tire or debris in the air-intake would be disastrous. Do people never grow up? On second thoughts, demand that you be thrown in front of those cars!

Want to hear another funny thing? I might actually have a better chance than my beautiful mate, at surfing! Surprising, given my imbalance, utter lack of timing and horrendous placement!

Writers Blog(ck)?

2005-06-18T22:42:00.000-07:00

Ever tried dusting off the WRITER'S cloak that's been hanging in the closet and trying to look as dashing as you did before? Turns out that the cloak needs some dry-cleaning!! I stopped writing a couple of months ago, partly due to the constraints of time and hugely due to the deciduous nature of my attention span! Well the monsoon is approaching and the trees are ready to leave - i.e. as in LEAF, not as in going away.

Okay, enough of the weird banter. This is what two Margaritas and a shot of Tequila does do you after an hour on the beach, in the sun.

So, life has been turning on its head for sometime now. Things keep happening, scenarios keep changing and mission statements keeps getting revised. My penchant for putting off things until life settles down has been holding me back, and by association, holding my beautiful partner back! Well, turns out I can learn my lessons too, albeit slowly.

So tomorrow we go to learn surfing!

Ok Ok! Next one will make sense!

It's been measured, it's been weighed and found NOT wanting!! Go Tepper!

2005-02-15T10:28:00.000-08:00

Misty day, green grass, pretty river, nervous anticipation, pretty girl - no, not just Valentine's day but a visit to CMU's Tepper School of Business in Pittsburgh, PA.

For some reason, Tepper has grown close to my heart and with every interaction with it I feel closer to the school. Jigna and I visited Tepper yesterday and from the start it went well. We met Prof. Lamont at 9.00am and spent an hour getting insights on Turnaround management, strategic operations planning, B-schools comparisons, Tepper strengths, MBA learning methods and advice on approaching prospective employers to give one a chance in a new field. It was a pleasant surprise to have been given that much time to speak with a professor on a whole range of topics, goes to show that all MBA programs are not egotistic and big-headed.

Then was an info-session where everyone who attended save me were 2005 applicants and interviewees. All sharply dressed and on their best behavior - unlike me, since I was in trousers and a shirt, chewing gum and leaning backwards with hands behind my the head. The info session wasn't really of help, I already knew all the facts about Tepper, what I needed was a feel for the place. That was accomplished during lunch with Vincent and Ozgur, a sit-in during a finance class and a tour cum answering session led by Vikash. Safe to say, I wanted to start classes immediately!!!!

All in all, I came away with the feeling that I had a good shot at CMU, though my essays would have to be spot-on. I see Tepper as a school that will give me a sound grounding in management basics and help me go to the depth I desire in all the management aspects I choose to excel in, as well as put me in touch with the firms that will bring the best out of me. The program seems to breed mostly down-to-Earth MBAs and that to me is very important.

Jigna stood by me all through the day and suffered through all my lengthy questions. As if that were not enough, she spent an entire night without sleep because Airtran decided to put her planeload of passengers in Tampa and then fly them to Atlanta the following morning! She then drove to Birmingham and went to work - man, I would have taken the day off and slept at a hotel in Atlanta!! Thank you 'wingman'!!!

One down, a helluva lot to go!

2005-02-07T13:54:00.000-08:00

Gave my GMAT today - was done in by the damn Quant section again. I just can't seem to get the bloody Data Sufficiency questions right - I really need to figure out the reason. The verbal section was great though - my SCs apparently were pretty spot-on.

Can't shake the feeling of relief right now. This is the first step in my slow and excruciating climb up the ladder of B-school admissions and having gotten it right is a small but important load off my chest. I just hope that damn ladder ends at a pedestal rather than a open air with a long fall down.

Am interviewing for a job tomorrow, temporary work till I am either confirmed or they kicked out because of my laziness.

Oh, in case you missed it - my GMAT score is a 99th percentile!!

Return of the prodigal maverick!

2005-02-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

I am back. This long hiatus is indicative of my personality as a whole - a little bit of everything at different times, as opposed to a whole lot of some things all of the time!

Okay - crap!!

Life is handing me lemons right now, so I'm making lemonade, although selling it is taking some effort! You say, "huh?!", I say, " Okay Okay!"

Now that I am starting out on my quest for that coveted admission to a top-notch MBA program, getting back into the groove (not too dissimilar from Stella's!) will be advantageous. Also, reading blogs of other applicants, both past and present ones, makes me want to pen down my thoughts too - for posterity maybe!

My first hurdle, the GMAT, will be tackled on Monday. I am aiming at a score that will force any Adcomm member to read my application thoroughly - 750 ought to do it, but Jigna says 780 will open more doors for me! Sentence Correction and Data Sufficiency questions are my bug-bears - lack of ability to sweat the details is doing me in again. SC is getting better, DS should get better after tonight's practice questions.

Next will be a visit to CMU's Tepper School of Business. The fact that it will happen on the 14th is just a coincidence.

After the GMAT, my energies will be turned to finding a job ASAP. This period of berozgari has given me the opportunity of studying for the GMAT in peace, but it is time I get back into the work-force or else I am going to have a hell of a time explaining this hiatus to the adcomm!

Wish me luck, for the GMAT and the job-hunt.

Over reacting - prerogative of the American! - and all women!!

2004-10-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

The comment - "We're all God's children," Mr Kerry said on the stage at Arizona State University. "And I think if you were to talk to Dick Cheney's daughter, who is a lesbian, she would tell you that she's being who she was. She's being who she was born as. I think if you talk to anybody, it's not a choice."

The reaction - An exercise in abject stupidity and downright over-reaction that belies the statement that the american electorate is smarter than the candidates give it credit for!!

Oh My God!!!! (aka- Janice at her irritating best!)

What is it with these people. I can understand a pricking of the ears, a stiffened back here and there on this comment - there will always be some prudish and ultra-conservative people. But to have a nationwide discussion and condemnation on a comment that I for one thought was actually sensitive and straight is something beyond my grasp. In the past few weeks, Mary Cheney's sexual inclination has been brought up and each side was very sensitive and decent about this - to the point where Kerry and Edward have made a pointed note about lesbianism and the respect they have for Cheney as a father - and Cheney and Bush thanking them for their kind words.

Bush takes a beating in the debates and suddenly Kerry is an immoral man!?! C'mon! I thought that the American people were above such stupid bullshit!! Apparently not. People are beating this over the head - discussing it on national television and actually urging people to look at Kerry as a tawdry and cheap person! I can only raise my eyebrows and turn my palm upwards in absolute surprise and the comment, "What the @@#$%??"

Round 1 - Senator Kerry!

2004-09-30T19:41:00.000-07:00

Bush never seemed as much of a disappointment to me as he has been to most people I have spoken to - I tended to give him the benefit of the doubt. World politics and dynamics is a complex matter - no one can claim to get everything right.

Today seemed to shift my view a bit - leaning towards Kerry. For some one that has been accused of verbosity and flip flopping, he got his point across and with a lot of conviction. Bush on the other hand seemed stuck on the same record - the repetitiveness beginning to get on one's nerves after some time. America still does not have a clear favorite, but it is safe to say that the race has become tighter now that Kerry has been heard and seen for what he is - a man with a plan!

Spaceship One!

2004-09-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

Cold desert winds, no warm clothing, no sleep, hungry and tired - so what do you do?
You hold your breath, look around at the rest of the crowd waiting with you, put on your glares, squint into the sunlight and see history in the making!!

Off course it helps that the history we are speaking about is the flight of SpaceshipOne - the first privately flown spaceship ever. This was its' maiden flight for the XPRIZE competition - the $10million prize for the first team to finish two space flights within a fortnight. I was standing at the runway, saw WHITE KNIGHT carry the spaceship down the runway, turn around and take off barely a few feet from me. It circled the airfield area till it reached altitude and then the spaceship dropped off the mother ship - fired its rocket boosters and moved off at 10000ft/min into outer space. The ship was there for 5 minutes and then re-entered the atmosphere, gliding back to Earth eventually.

When it touched down, again barely a few feet from me - did I realize what had happened. The whole import of the event hit me there and then - soon we will be buying tickets to go see the Earth the way it was meant to be seen. Hopefully this endeavor by a few visionaries will change the face of space travel forever - making the experience accessible to the average man. Like Michael Melvill, the test pilot, said - when you are up there, the world is put into perspective, literally. You realize how insignificant each one of us is, in the face of the size and tranquility that is mother Earth.

Oh! Why was I there? Pure dumb luck. I get a call Monday evening, Steve asking me if I can be at the Mojave desert in CA by the next morning. NO PROBLEMO I said - and off I went, at the drop of a hat, flew to LA and then drove to Mojave. It is a bloody desert - the only thing here is the damn spaceport. I got here and was told of the wireless testing I had to do and what the event was about. I was thrilled. Fortunately the tests failed and I had to stay another day - this was awesome. I got exactly 3 hrs sleep last night and have been at the runway for the last 10hrs, soaking in history in the making. A story for the grand children - as one of the guys here put it!

By the way - did I mention meeting and speaking with James Cameroon, Paul Allen and the director of NASA?!!?

A lil bit of everything!!

2004-09-16T00:49:00.000-07:00

Aika dajiba, aika dajiba!!!

No no, not the song being spewed out of the stereo but by Atul, Hrishi, Jai and I during the Isabel storm in DC last year. For some reason we burst out into the song, loudly and lewdly right after the storm had uprooted the huge tree in front of my apartment in the Savoy.

Why the reminiscence? Well, Ivan will hit us in sweet home Alabama tomorrow and Jigna, Meeta, Kunal and I were sharing stories about life and such things over a couple of beers till late – and all I could think of was the last time we hunkered down for a storm. Life has moved on, work has taken over, priorities have changed – but this cold hearted sumbitch has only this to say – I miss all of you guys, a LOT!!

Speaking to Sapna today made me a feel a little better about the distance from dear friends, she sometimes has a way of putting things so simply that I want to kick myself for not think of it on my own. Told her of my car – think I also put the seeds of an idea to do the same, in her mind. Congrats by the way to her and Sandeep for the new house they are going to close on in a few weeks.

Nikita bit the dust yesterday – finally landed a job. That makes her the third in quick succession after Jai and me – congrats and all the best babe. This leaves Atul, and if my instincts are right he is going to land a big one and soon!! He always manages to do something unexpected!!

The car is doing great – every time I take her out – she just makes me sigh. I have caught myself doing a 100mph and not noticing it for sometime. Got to start taking some lead off the right foot or else a speeding violation is just around the corner. The 1.8T engine is a beaut by any standard except that of Michael Schumacher.

So much for an update!

Oh ya – wishing Avi a very happy birthday and all the best in life!!

Diaaammmmm – I miss my friends, the whole crap filled time and all the laughs!!

Red Gem!

2004-09-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

I just said good bye to what Jigna called my first love – the pearl-green beauty that had so much soul that parting with her was a deed that brought me closer to tears than anything else I can remember. Yesterday I traded in JEX1849 for a newer, shinier, faster, stronger and classy car – a 2004 Jetta GLI. What started out as a shot in the dark, ended in an unanticipated relinquishing of my car – it was so sudden, I couldn’t come to grips with it for a whole day thereafter. I left my sweetheart standing all alone in the night at the dealer – empty of all its trappings, finery and anything else that defined it as my SADU JETTA! I could almost see its face contorted in a pout that asked, “How can you do this to me?!?”

I didn’t get a chance to label a drive as my last one, didn’t have the time to bid it a fond and sweet farewell – it was short, harsh and rude. All that know me well and have seen me with the car will understand what attachment I had developed with her, how much time, effort and energy had been invested and what sort of soulful bond I shared with my car. I have rarely felt sadder.

So much for the past – now on to the future. I am now a proud owner of a TORNADO RED mean machine. It boasts of a 1.8L turbo-charged engine, 18” BBS wheels, sports suspension, tinted glass, chrome accents, an eight speaker premium sound system and a small gated awesome 6-speed transmission – all in all, a package that will take your breath away and blow away most other vehicles on the road. I just makes my heart flutter!! The one thing that this car does not have is heated seating – a convenience that has served many of us the past winter. For some reason it is offered only with the leather seating nowadays – well I guess, there has to be something that made my previous steed look down on the new one – God works in mysterious ways!!! I actually qualified for 0.0% financing, so the high cost of the car is not going to kill me when I make payments. I was advised on actually NOT giving the car a break-in period, but to drive it flat out the way I like to drive – in order to train the engine and clutch to my style. Believe me, I followed the advice to the T and I cannot describe to you the feeling of literally flying down the tarmac!!

Unfortunately, today I had to fly to Portland, so will have to wait till I get back to really unleash its raw power! Can’t wait to ride her again.

Two things shone through the haze that was yesterday – (1) Stan, the salesman, noting my obvious sadness at parting with JEX and saying that I shouldn’t feel so, since I am merely moving on, not out AND (2) Jigna remembering to take off the sacred thread that was in my old car and tying it to the new one before I got in – it touched my heart and I believe that this constituted my old car blessing my new one with the soul that any car I own should possess!! Thank you Jigna.

.

Good things happen to bad people too - eventually!!!

2004-09-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

_ _ _ aaaannnddd employment!!

I finally got the green signal from Dibon Solutions Inc. - am flying to Portland for a couple of days of training and then start my whirlwind tour of the USA. The very reason I found this job offer attractive - travel, now seems to be the thing that is haunting me the most. Do I have it in me to plan all the travel, keep it in budget, do all the work in time, travel constantly without break at all odd hours? I sincerely hope so - else all the heart burn, the waiting, the tantrums borne by Jigna and mom's worry will all be in vain.

A month of forced unemployment had begun to eat into my already limited resources of patience and sharpness. Things kept getting postponed, dates kept being pushed back, answers to queries got more vague by the day - then finally this week I get the call, am bombarded with details, limitations, requirements and instructions! Diaaammmmm - inundation is almost complete!! Anyway, I am trying to take things one at a time and should be ready and armed come my afternoon flight on the 7th of September.

Essentially this job entails traveling the country, testing a couple of Centrino chip based wireless functions and security with the various WiFi hot-spots. I have to plan the travel and expenditure and use my discretion in running the operation efficiently and economically. I will be on the road continuously, with short returns to Dallas to touch bases with my technical manager.

I have read some interesting articles and tips on traveling frequently - though, any forthcoming advice is welcome!!

Wish me luck and if yours runs out - I might be in your area soon!!!!

_ _ _ to be hanged until dead!

2004-08-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

A murderer, two assassins, a rapist - some of the criminals that have been hanged to death in the history of independent India.

What is it about the death sentence that makes it the ultimate punishment? Is it that society believes it is the maximum penalty that can be handed down to a criminal for his or her crimes, or is it that ridding the world of an evil being makes it a safer place for society? Though not as contentious a topic as abortion or gay marriages, the death penalty has had its share of debate and diametrically opposite views.

In the USA, the jury has to be unanimous in its decision for the maximum sentence to be meted out. Like in India, one has numerous avenues to approach to have this repealed - the last word being that of the President in India and the State Governer in the USA. I cannot even begin to imagine what might go through the minds of these decision makers when faced with such a situation. I see that most people tend to have a forgiving nature when they believe that time has salved some of the pain associated with the criminals crimes and off course politics plays a hand in their decisions too. But I am digressing from my central point - what is the use of this penalty?

A very dear friend told me today, "No man has the right to decide if another man has the right to live or not... he can and should have control over only his life and no one else's!", which is essentially right. My only answer to that is, having committed whatever heinous crime it that one has been convicted for, one gives up the basic constitutional right of freedom. If you flout society's rules, you will lose the right to play by them anymore. Again, most of the opposition to the death penalty comes from GOD FEARING people, those that insist that only the supreme being has the right to light and snuff out the flame of life. Given my agnostic bearings, I think that is a whole load of crap.

But, I do have my doubts about the efficacy of the penalty. What purpose does it serve? How did it make the perpetrator of the crime pay for his cruelty? What pound of flesh did the victim extract from the criminal? In this day of advanced society and civilization, such truisms as AN EYE FOR AND EYE, seem out of place and shunned to the deep abyss of the savage mind. Justice is seen as a way of keeping the anti-social elements in check - not as a weapon of the people against the same.

Therein lies the fallacy. I think death is too easy a punishment for the most heinous of crimes, too fast and painless. Agreed that the knowledge of impending death can be terrifying and may drive a person mad - but from what I read and hear, the process is extremely swift and clean. The old ways of cutting of the hand or the tongue should be used against such people. Let them shunned from society, by all and sundry and let the record of the crime be forever branded on the criminal in the form of a disability - be it physical or mental. Only when the criminal is made to suffer will he or she realize the the suffering and pain caused to the victim.

Sounds ghastly doesn't it? A lot of people will accuse me of jingoism and having a violent bent of mind - I still maintain, suffering is a form of punishment - death is just a damn escape route. Harsh imprisonment, physical disability, exile from society - these are what will serve as seeds of hesitation in a future criminal's mind.

I could go on and on and on and also give you the other side of the story and my suggestions for less heinous crimes! Let's stop here - lest I be branded an animal and cast out of the society I HAVE to live in for the rest of my life!!!!

Anyone?!?

2004-08-12T13:08:00.000-07:00

Why is it that Hot Dogs come in packs of ten while Hot Dog buns are available only in packs of eight?!

** Life will always not work out the way you want it to - you have to make do with what you have. 'Coz if nothing else, you can always have an extra hot dog!!

Reality bites!

2004-08-07T19:10:00.000-07:00

There are times in one's life that one realises that people around you are not what they are purpoted to be and nor is your place!

Uh?!

2004-08-04T06:45:00.000-07:00

Another email to me -

"I was talking with the spritual guru of our class.... yep we unfortunately were not fortunate enough to have people keep their wisdom canned, it happens with smart people, .... and he was talking about how he wanted to be detached and have himself (i figure he was talking about his soul) break away from the circle of life. And I asked him why he wanted to break away from the circle of life and he said because thats how Moksha is obtained through Mukti..... but I for purely the sake of arguing said, no, Moksha is obtained cummulatively each time we pass through the circle of life. He scoffed and said, you dont obtain anything from repetition, from going around in circles. Now, I never had used anything from the subjects I learned in college, and have still not, well except maybe for C, but on that occasion I remebered that a circle has infinite points and even though you are going around in a circle does that neccessarily mean repitition? You could go around forever and still not savour half of what life has to offer. Well this guy after a moment of silence then succesfully managed to change the topic.... another thing smart people do, especially when arguing with cocksure people who have a tendency to gloat. Hmmmm so what is the point I am trying to make??? Errr.... that the circle has an infinite number of points along its circumference, and therefore can have an infinite number of tangents, and since a line also is composed of an infinite number of points and extends to infinity, all of those infinite tangents could be tangents to an infinite number of circles - which means that when extrapolating on the law of averages one needs to make sure which domain containing which circles and which tangents is used as the sample space. So technically you can beat the law of averages by leaving one circle of life, going off on a tangent and then getting down on another circle of life, always ensuring that when you do leave, you are riding the crest of the law in that realm. Of course everything depends on perception, so you need to know by looking from which side of the plane containing all those circles and lines, would you see the crest...... cos ofcourse if you look from the other side you can mistake the trough for the crest. So either you need to be confident about your perception or introduce a third dimension. This does not help you in understanding what you see, it only screws your perception up so badly that you would'nt want to leave your circle of life."

Please oh please let me know if you have understood the import of this piece.

Life as I know it!

2004-07-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

'Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?'
- Clarence Darrow

Do I need to say more?

Dejection!

2004-07-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

A dejected and angst filled communication from my better half -
"Shantanu, I am feeling extremely depressed and upset... I try not thinking about it though!
I can imagine what my brother is going through... he is very upset and his interest from the field of Aerospace Engineering is fading due to the VISA issue! I know how natural a feeling that is... and I really dont know what to say to him... he has always wanted to pursue it, from when he was a kid and I remember all of that!!! All he wants is a higher education!!!
I may be being a bit philosophical here... but isn't man drawing lines on the face of this earth and saying, this portion is mine, and you shall not have it!!! Who gave them the right to do so?! What is this bullshit about Human Rights and Right to freedom that everyone boasts about?! I understand the need for rules, I understand the need for procedures and protocol... my brother has obeyed all of them and has been extremely honest and mentioned that both his sisters were here last year and I was still here this year!!! That has only worked as a disadvantage! He has not tried any misdoings like changing his identity or tampering documents and has been very straightforwardly going and giving it another shot each time! A few American strangers I have met; upon being asked, I told them I planned to return to my home country, their immediate question is: why, you dont like my country?! Then who is it that is having the problem, just the moneymakers, is it not!?
I have never had a problem with Indians/desis/asians coming into this country. I have never pointed fingers and said, what is THIS desi doing here?! I have, though, always loathed their habit of not obeying the civic rules here in this country and hence felt they did not deserve to be here! Why is my brother not entitled to a visa? What has an American done to earn his life here? The luck to be born in this country, on this piece of land?!
It is not the "Oh my brother cant come to the USA" that I am dejected about... I am upset about him not having the freedom... the freedom to pick where he wants to travel, the freedom to choose a higher level of education when and where he wants it... his right to freedom!"

I for one had no words that would make a difference - can anyone else salve the pain!?

Cow's opinion!!

2004-07-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

"_ _ _ Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point. _ _ _Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo."

hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha!!

Ten years of FRIENDS, maybe the tenth time I have seen that particular episode and it still cracks me up! Joey's deadpan innocence, Chandler's dry wit and total awareness of his sissiness and Ross's irritating stuck up behavior - can it GET any better!?!?

Let's replay some of our favourite FRIENDS moments!

Black Gem!

2004-07-09T08:29:00.000-07:00

UPDATE

Jetta GLI, 1.8T, 17" wheels, sport suspension, 6 speed, ESP, 4 wheel ABS - Test Drive it and you will know what just might replace an orgasm soon!!

aka the JETTA!

"Most people buy cars depending on the price they can afford, but the Jetta is an end in itself - you buy it because you want to _ _ _" - touche'.

Just over a year in a VW and there is a fierce loyalty to the Jetta and its driveability and feel. No other car I've ever driven has made me feel like I can do whatever I want with it - though I do admit that I've never actually driven a Mercedes or a BMW. I did drive the Passat and though it really felt good, its size and weight are not for me - I prefer my car to be a compact sedan with ooommpphh and curve hugging performance. There are a lot more powerful cars on the road - but almost none of them can make the off ramp at Exit 62 from I-66E the way I can - @60mph, with 5 people in it and it still holds the line through the curve like it is on rails! It is also the safest car out there - built like a tank, side impact and rear air bags, strong side beams and three point seat belts on ALL seats.

There have been problems with the car - I've had to change the clutch plate, fix an alignment problem, deal with body flex noises and a broken window regulator. All unwanted annoyances that were compounded by dealer apathy - but I do realize that ALL cars have some problems or the other and up to a point such annoyances should be taken in one's stride. Most people do not like the way the flimsy cup holders are designed - I concur - though I tend to agree with the German mentality of 'why the heck do you need to drink/eat when driving?'. The leg space at the back is cramped - more so when there are five people in the car. This car is for a 2+2, I personally bought this car for my pleasure and for that of the people sitting beside me - more often than not they are Jigna, Avi and Atul; the first because it is her right, the second because I love the conversations on the way to work and the third _ _ _well you know!!

I might sell this car soon and lease a 2004 Jetta, 1.8T, 5 speed, 17" wheels, sports suspension. For the sake of research I did look at the Mazda 3 and Mazda 6 and Ford SVT - but I cannot get myself to give those a fair chance - it's almost sacrilege! I know I will always buy a German car, it will probably be a VW and any other car will always feel like a compromise.

Jigna is planning to buy a car soon - no guesses on my impassioned recommendation!!

True!

2004-07-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
-- Robert Heinlein

Sex Rock!

2004-07-07T12:43:00.000-07:00

" _ _ _ and that there is Sex Rock!"
" hahahahahah! Why is that?"
"Coz' it's just another fucking rock!!!"

A conversation between Ryan, our guide, and us in the raft during a memorable WWR trip down the Lower New River Gorge. Avi, Hrishi, Sapna, Sandeep, Ashish, Trishna, Reejo, Sigil, Atul, Jai, Jigna and I camped two nights at the Ace Adventure capmsites and rafted on Sunday. It was a long, occasionally insipid, mostly thrilling rafting experience with a scrumptious lunch break and cold beer during the ride back. Throw in a 20' jump into the water, a couple of CLASS V rapids, surfing a rapid and swimming a couple of them and you can imagine the adrenaline flowing, the water in our faces, the tan on our bodies and off course Atul's expected antics!!

This is the third time I have gone rafting and have realised that it is just one of those activities that will never get boring and will have something new everytime I do it. Rafting with friends, my girl and a great guide(already see some smirks on the faces of those that know!!) is an experience that begs to be repeated!

Looking forward to many a similar adventure.

Any tips?

2004-06-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

Don't you just hate it when your opponent uses your plays to beat you hands down?!

The opponent being Avi, the game is Racquet Ball and the plays are drop balls and high powerful shots. Aaarrghhhh - it is so infuriating just before he plays some particular shots - I just know I am going to lose that point! I played a lot of Rball with Shoeb, almost continuously for a year and we got really good at the game -towards the end of our playing days we were hitting hard and low, pinching between the walls, serving blinders and dropping the balls with the softest touch. A year of inactivity and loss of stamina has seen those skills disappear faster than food from Kavin's plate!

I used to love using the afore mentioned plays to beat Shoeb, problem is Avi has the same playing style and I have no answers. I have got to stop hitting balls into the ground and start coming up with other another playing style or continue being thrashed 3-0!!

Oh! I lose by that margin even when he has a racquet with a broken string!

Ground rules _ _ _ !

2004-06-28T10:22:00.000-07:00

You will NOT -

1. leave fingerprints on the glass
2. eat food in the car
3. throw wrappers and paper on the seat
4. wipe your filthy hands on the upholstery
5. mark the back of the seats with your shoes
6. play with ANYTHING, including but not limited to lights, handles, locks, seats and the horn
7. hold the headrest of the front seat, thus preventing black marks on the same
8. think that the car belongs to you
9. treat it like you would yours

You will -

always obey my instructions when riding in my car
OR
get out and stay out!

Kapisce!?

Ouch, that hurt!

2004-06-24T19:21:00.000-07:00

Not often does some one tell me, "That is your failing _ __ ".

Is Sachin Tendulkar more famous worldwide or is Aishwarya Rai? This is an ongoing debate and one that will rage on for a long time, Atul and I rooting for Aishwarya and Avi for Sachin.

I have always thought that most people get too personal and have no idea how to carry on a debate - unfortunately I slipped to precisely that level by skirting the main issue and attacking Avi's passion on the topic. Though meant as a joke, I realize that my reaction would have been the same - if not more scathing. I for one cannot get passionate about a lot of things, but then each to his own.

No one likes being told about his failings - more so when you are one that looks down on others for the same thing. A humbling experience and my sincere apologies for a failing I vow never to repeat!

Stand alone!

2004-06-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

For those that are curious, CURRAHEE is the name of the last mountain in the Blue Ridge chain of mountains. The US army's Camp Toccoa is based there, it is the training ground for the 101st Airborne Division.

The name has now been made famous by the HBO mini series BAND OF BROTHERS which follows the EASY company of the 3rd Battalion (Airborne), 506th Infantry (Currahee), 1st Brigade, 101st Airborne Division through its inception to its role played in the Normandy invasion!

Currahee means - STAND ALONE!

Thank you Ma and Baba!

2004-06-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

What did your parents teach you?

A major gripe against my parents used to be that they never really taught me the good and bad in life - I mean there was never a " Shantanu when x happens do y" or a " Shantanu always do z". I used to be scolded and screamed at whenever I did wrong, hence all my lessons were learnt the hard way, which according to some is the best way!

Not so any more. My parents agree they could have made my growing up easier, but I feel that all the trial and tribulations that we went through during my formative years have only served to instill an integrity, sense of responsibility and a whole lot of back bone more than a lot of people I know!

I look around me and see people that possess what I call 'typical middle class mentality'. Its primary traits are a small mind, a smaller heart, downright lack of any integrity, an inability to respect and irresponsibility for one's actions. Seriously, I watched and learned from upright citizens, forward thinkers and practical people - aka my parents. It saddens me to see that some people I know have no role models and that is what prevents me from blaming them for their lack of sense - it's all in the upbringing you see!!

zoooooommmmmmm!!!!

2004-06-22T16:38:00.000-07:00

Name: Quiz #4
Status: Completed
Score: 27 out of 30 point(s)
Time Elapsed: 2 minutes and 40 seconds out of 15 minutes allowed.

Mein bolra I am a dude!!!

Can I BE any faster in a quiz!!!

Email tigers!

2004-06-22T07:21:00.000-07:00

This is ridiculous - the whole email, IM culture has spawned a generation of non confrontational cowards - me included.

Refrains, missives, arguments, terse comments, etc are all nowadays conveyed via the electronic medium. For God's sake, does no one have the courage or back bone to stand up and speak what it is they think - are people from now on going to hide behind the convenient curtain of an impersonal email? Seriously, even those that rib the people who take this path do the same - bloody hypocrites!

Hopefully I can get out of this rut and give a piece of my mind (don't even think of leaving a comment on this line!!!) whenever I want - TO YOUR FACE!!!

The bastards, these men!

2004-06-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

' _ _ _ And in the darkness there are terrible sounds: the rhythmic grunts of an invading soldier pounding into the petrified body of a farmer's wife; the jeers and cheers of his mates - bayonets at the ready - awaiting their turn; muffled sobs of a child in bed, clutching her nightdress around her, edging away from the place where the sheets are still warm, the place where her father had lain; the screams of an infibulated bride on her wedding night as her husband plunges in the knife to open a way for his penis; the almost-silent thuds of a pimp's fist and foot against a prostitute's soft flesh; footsteps on a wet pavement, the whir of the pornographer's camera'

Offended? Good, you should be! This is one of the lesser gross descriptions about atrocities against women I have read in the past hour. What makes me actually spend time reading this? - just saw Tears Of The Sun, wherein they show Nigerian soldiers cutting off the breasts of pregnant women so that they may not suckle their offspring!
The bloody low down bastards.

Men all over the world are the same - fuckin creeps with absolutely no sense of civility. Most people think it happens to the others, to the less civilized people! Think again naive people - it happens everywhere - in your circle of life too. I have a friend who was taken advantage of by her maid servant's husband - when she was 10!! Believe me you, I will kill him with my bare hands if he ever comes in front of me!

I wish I could take a pin and slowly thread it into the penis hole of every man who perpetrates these deeds!

Bah!! Men!

Serving the Motherland!

2004-06-21T12:16:00.000-07:00

Two movies in succession have dealt with the subject of serving the country, each in its own way - each successful in making selfish me stop to ponder on my contribution, or its lack thereof.

Eight years ago when I was going through the process of applying to the Indian armed forces, it was just to cover my back in case I did not get admission to the engineering colleges. It was something that was looked down upon as the last choice for some one incapable of earning and making big bucks in the corporate world. A few friends always wanted to join, some because that is the only life they knew, some because they genuinely fit well and the rest for want of something better to get into. Even though I always dreamed of being an IAF pilot, barreling my MIG-29 at Mach2 through the azure skies, bad eyes and pure lack of ambition put paid to that. I joined an Engg. college like the rest of the herd and the rest is history.

What I never realized was that the lack of effort and refusal to pursue my dreams would come back to haunt me eight years hence. Almost no day goes by when I think of what could have been - oh what would I not give to have the character, discipline and confidence of being 'An Officer and a Gentleman'! Having run with the herd, left the country to earn the big bucks abroad, I get the feeling that something has been left incomplete - will I always rue the fact that I did not do my time in the service of the Motherland?!

Ferrari front row AGAIN!

2004-06-19T11:58:00.000-07:00

Michael is the superstar everyone loves to hate - Rubinho is the dude everyone is backing to get the better of him. Today Schumi put in a blistering lap to snatch P1 and no one else could get close to his pace - then out came Hrishi's maan Rubinho. First sector down, second sector match, third sector up and through the finish line on pole!!

I've been to Indy twice in as many years and each time the two things that stood out of the sea of red were the Columbian flags and cheer in the crowd when Rubinho's scarlet racer graced the tarmac. Many have rubbished his capabilities and agonized over his playing second fiddle to his more illustrious mate - but a lot of us firmly believe that all things being equal, the one person that can beat Michael is Rubens.

Like a lot of close friends - I am an ardent Michael fan, more so a Ferrari fan - and Rubinho's attempted move on Michael at the Canadian GP last week instilled a desire to see him beat Michael and then see the both of them race each other. I believe this duel can match the legendary Prost - Senna match up of yore!

2004-06-19T10:37:00.000-07:00

'Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, _ _ _ _, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'

Look around you, look into yourself - this is exactly what you will find! I don't know if it is the sort of people I know or this is the direction society is heading - but the sappiness is killing me. One will find every crappy excuse not to move out of his comfort zone, one will go on and on about how life is changing, another cannot grow up beyond the emotional age of 14 - sheesh. For God's sake people - clear the fog of stunted emotional growth!

Oh ya - and please learn the nuances of the English language before using words and phrases beyond your comprehension!!

2004-05-31T09:25:00.000-07:00

Two Schumachers in as many races!

This guy has an agenda or something? I know there are valid explanations for both incidents, they were probably just racing incidents but why the same perpetrator and why the same victims - again and again?? Montoya fans will bring out the daggers at this but seriously - think about it. There is no smoke without fire - he is really too damn brash and arrogant for his own good. Agreed there is immense talent and he is probably the best overtaker on the grid - but he isn't going to go far with this attitude.

It really irritates me that people have to go off the grid again and again because of someone's lack of peripheral vision and circumspection. Idiot!

2004-05-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

Ek bug saala windshield ki Maa ##$$%^% deta hai!!!!

2000 mile roundtrip and I don't which was more annoying - the trooper at the speed trap or the damn insect population that seemed to lust after the cleanliness of my car!! Like Hrishi would say - DDDIIIIAAAAAAMMMM!!!!!

Seriously - I was on I-66, the last leg of my marathon drive last night and I thought it was raining lightly - what with the pitter patter of rain drops. Imagine my horror when I passed under a light and realized my visibility was down to a minimum because of the remains of atleast a hundred bugs on the windshield. I let loose a torrent of the choicest swear words and the guy parked next to me got really scared, not that I really cared, I had to scrub hard and vigorously to get rid of the bug mass suicide that was my windshield!

This morning, my car rolls off the car wash looking like the beaut it is and suddenly - SPPPPLLLLAAAATTTTTTTT!!!

I hate em damn critters!

2004-05-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

God forgives, whitewater will not!!

All forward! Forward hard! Forward two! Left back! Back hard! All down!

Those words were screamed into my ears for two hours of fun filled, back breaking, whitewater rafting in the Ocoee river in Tennessee. After groaning and complaining about being woken up at 7.00 a.m. on a Sunday, made to drive three hours when I have to do the same road again the next day - the trip was worth it - the water cool, the sun warm, the company great, the guide fun and the rafting thrilling!!

I vow to do this again soon - anyone wants to join me?

2004-05-22T20:18:00.000-07:00

Immortality! Take it! It's yours!

Words of passion, spoken by a passionate man, potrayed by an artist that many find the epitome of dash and dynamism!! The words you know, the man is Achilles and the epitome is Brad Pitt.

Since childhood I have had a deep rooted interest in combat, its various forms and the strategies that have won battles. This led me to read and watch and learn a lot about the great wars - Mahabarata, King Arthur's Crusades, Troy and the mother of all wars - World War II ( NOT the 'SECOND world war'!!!!. Every legendary battle has had its heroes, those precious few that would galvanise the lesser mortals to deeds that they themselves thought beyond their capabilities, those that would in times of distress be the the lone figure to stand in front of the invading hordes, the last man standing so to speak. Such is the legend of Achilles, the most fearsome and deadly warrior in the history of Greece. He was said to be immortal, made so by his Goddess mother who dipped him into the pool of immortality - but alas, she had to hold him by the heel to do so and hence the term - Achilles heel!

Brad Pitt's potrayal of Achilles is phenomenal. He moved like a coiled spring, ready to spring and attack at any moment - the hallmark of a great athlete. His eyes burned with the fire of a man born for the job, his stance in combat must have put even Achilles to shame! As a guy, I envy every girls' obsession with the man, but yesterday I too was so taken in by his presence on screen that I caught myself ooohing and aaahing with the fairer sex, staring at his butt and being reduced to a wreck by his piercing look!! (ah God, forgive me for I have sinned!!)

I urge very person who appreciates good acting, can look beyond the veneer of a glossy film and see the brilliance of Brad Pitt, to go watch TROY - it will leave you feeling inadequate and humble! Some people just have it all - the looks,the sincerity, the hard work and the talent. I wish I had something no one could beat, no one could do without - like Achilles' prowress and Brad Pitt's butt!!!!!

2004-05-12T07:08:00.000-07:00

Traffic infractions!!

Yesterday I got a taste of the Circuit Court in Woodstock, VA - I was there to plead the reckless driving ticket that I managed to get on my drive to Birmingham three weeks ago. The state trooper clocked me doing 90mph in a 65mph zone on I-81S - apparently I was going faster than that but he wrote me the ticket for 90. The Judge made me cough up a hefty $265 in fines and I think he reduced the charge to speeding. The experience was pretty harrowing, sitting in a courtroom full of people, contesting the charge with 100 people looking at you. Pleading innocence against something so insignificant as a driving ticket made me think about the people who are under trial for much graver offenses - I would crap in my pants if put in the docket!!!

The ticket has shattered the confidence I had on the road- now I am continuously looking in my mirrors and peering ahead on the road for cop cars, marked or otherwise. I no longer drive with the peace and worry free attitude I had when I used to do atleast 90mph on the interstates and 70mph on the routes. I guess the fact that my insurance will go up after this is weighing on my mind really heavy. In fact, on the way to the court I spotted atleast four troopers, and one of them actually lit his lights behind me. That scared the shit out of me before I realized he was looking out his window and was hailing the car behind me - my guess is since it was an unmarked car, he did not have a radar on board and was pacing his prey to make sure of the speed he was doing; smart dude!!

Reading about defensive driving on the internet has given me a few pointers about looking out for cops, driving quickly but not speeding, letting others give you and indication of hidden troopers up ahead and always being alert to the changing road conditions. It took a ticket to teach me to slow down, take it easy and leave the gung-ho attitude at home. For some time even my girl friend took umbrage at my aggressive driving style, given that she is my biggest fan, that made me think - though not enough as is evident from my ticket!!! IDIOT!!!!!

A plea to all my friends - please drive safe, drive smart and watch out for cop cars hidden behind bridge supports!!!!!

2004-05-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

Sport!

I have gone to sleep the last two nights with this dull ache throughout my body - an ache that comes form sudden exertion on the sports field, a pain that makes you feel nice about the exercise you put in. The last two days have been spent playing American football, setting up home and playing cricket - all activities that become even more strenuous due to lack of fitness!!

I remember high school, college and then under-grad being such a blast because of the constant rushing off to the playing field for a game of soccer(my first love) or an athletics meet(that I excelled in) or even a game of cricket (something I am not good at)! Coming home and bathing after playing in the rain, falling, getting hurt and pulling a muscle was a feeling beyond comprehension of some one who has not played a contact sport. I was fit, energetic and the best part was that I could study really well after a session in the field.

Lately, I've been such a slob that if I was to run into my 18 year old self, he would kick my butt from here to Valhalla (those that have seen the movie Mr.Deeds will recognize the dialogue!!). I have a Gym membership that I do not use, have a bicycle that has not been ridden and a soccer ball that was kicked around all of ONCE!!! What has happened to me!?!??!!?!??!

Hopefully I will make use of the fields that are close my new home to forge a new lifestyle, one that is active and sees me get back to the form that once enabled me to come within a fraction of a millisecond close to beating the school record for the 100m dash(show off, show off!!!)

I do not particularly like the closed and dark atmosphere of gyms but realize their importance in building the strength needed to play well in the open field. Building muscles is really useless if you are not fit, fast and agile. Avi I know shares my passion for sport, Jai will not see beyond cricket - but that is okay since I've begun to like playing it lately, I get the feeling we will play a lot this summer and come out a fitter lot!!

On a related note, my preference of different sports:

Soccer, Athletics, Swimming, Racquetball, American football, Cricket!!

What do you think of sport!!!

2004-04-21T11:44:00.000-07:00

Investments.

Are you the sort of person that invests money in funds, bonds, stocks, etc? I've never been one to be interested in the maze of financial investing. The patience, guile and alertness needed to be on top of your game when dealing with the market is anathema to me - its too damn confusing!!!!

But recently I had a long hard look at my savings - present and estimated, and decided to break the shackles of ignorance and inertia that have kept me from taking the plunge. I have a dream (ala Martin Luther King), one that shows me doing an MBA from a reputed institution and being sort after by the latest and greatest! Amongst other things, the fulfillment of this dream requires financial soundness that is going to be very hard to achieve unless I make my money work for me. So I spoke to a cousin, read a few HOW TO articles, called up an investment specialist - and am still very very very very very confused!!!!!

I've received a lot of advice on the popular S&P 500 mutual funds, hopefully my meeting with the financial advisor next week will clear things up a bit. The amount of money I am looking to invest is so damn trifling as compared to most others that I get embarrassed when people ask me about it. Anyway, if any of you have the slightest of understanding about the market and would like to share their expertise with me, I'd be grateful.

2004-04-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

What is Pooja's favourite body part?

Di-lip!!!

Please continue!!

****UPDATE:

How does dilip type when he writes a letter to Poo? - In short-hand!

This is Atul's - Hows does Dilip talk to Pooja? - he talks very poo-litely...hahahaahahahahha

2004-04-07T06:55:00.000-07:00

Searching for apartments!

Five people going to stay together - almost everyone one of them has a criteria. I need a room to myself, I have to have the gym close by, I cannot depend on another, I don't want to change metro lines, I need wine all the time. Ok Ok, the last one is a constant no matter where we are!!!!

I am so damn used to the way I live right now, so comfortable with my present roommate that a change in lifestyle, surroundings and the thought of sharing a house with three more people - albeit good friends - kinda scares me. Like Morgan Freeman said, "He's just institutionalized, that's all . . . "

2004-04-06T15:39:00.000-07:00

What are you looking for in your job?

A friend spent almost a week complaining that there was no work at her new job - that she has no experience whatsoever is besides the point. Today she was given so much work that she had no idea how to start and what to do!!! Now she complains that the last week was much better!!!

My point being, do you look for hard and long work or an easy and comfortable load? Pay and money is irrelevant, what I want to know is, what sort of life would you like - hard or easy?

I have spent the better part of the last ten months doing almost no work at all - a few busy days, an inhospitable senior and a lot of good times! I am not complaining of this kind of life, I still make enough money to live very comfortably. I could do this all my life, work a little more when this new robot project comes up and do well for myself. But is this what I really want? Do I want to go through life without a challenge, without anything taxing me - except the government?!?!? I don't think so. I so fear the time when I do have a challenging and difficult job and all the easy times come and bite me in my six. I pray that I have the mettle to do what I have always known I can do - difficult work, better than most!!!

What about you?

**Update - The friend says today's challenge gave her the thrill she was looking for!

2004-03-30T09:08:00.000-08:00

Mr. Spock once said, "The good of the many outweighs the good of the few and that of the one."

I am glad that we as Indians are learning that emotion and personal landmarks are a distant second to what decisions have been made about the team. Australia learnt that a long time ago as has been evident from the unpopular dropping of both Waughs, Allan border. etc. My first reaction to the timing of the declaration was that of consternation, but a moment later I found myself filled with immense pride and respect for the steel and clinical precision that this showed. Tendulkar has been in the game since the time I started watching cricket avidly, a player of his stature does not need any more personal landmarks. I do think it lessens his stature as an ambassador of the game to complain about missing that double century - but hey, he is only human!

Any one else imagine the look on Jai's face now?!

2004-03-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Dunces on the road!

Aaaaaarggghhhh!!!! Move over you slow poke, left lane is for the faster vehicles!!!!

Jesus Christ man!!

I sound pretty frustrated huh? That is because the drive to work today was one of the worst I have had. For some reason people on Route7 seemed bent on getting under my skin. I usually drive faster than most people on the road, slower than the performance cars and rash drivers though. That means I usually have to pass people and for that happen one either needs the people to move over or for me to have enough space to cut across lanes. Today the slow pokes were in all the lanes, and that too everyone was at the same speed!! I mean, if you are gonna drive at the speed limit then stay in the same lane, that way faster cars can pass you on the other lane. But no, why would people think?? Exasperating bunch of drivers you meet on the road sometimes.

Usually these buggers are either Mexicans, or Indians or females or really old and senile people - this country has a lot of these kinds!!! I used to think that back home people have no road sense and road etiquette, here too people are the same, but at another level.

Aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!!!! I hate bad drivers and old drivers and female drivers (unless she is really hot and/or in a sexy car) and show off drivers and drivers that think they have the abilities they don't!!!! Well then, that leaves me with only one type of driver to like - ME!!!!!

2004-03-08T11:23:00.000-08:00

Formula 1!

Been following the sport for close to ten years now and never cease to be amazed at the sheer speed and excitement that the sport provides. I actually remember the days that Willaims used to dominate, then came McLaren's chance and now the present day scarlet cars' dominance! Its is now the fifth consecutive year that Michael Schumacher has been explosive from the start and I still get excited about seeing him pump his fists in victory when crossing the finish line. What is it that makes him so special? What is it that makes a guy who has broken every record to race again with the same motivation? Like he said the other day - I love the sport and that makes motivation come very easy. Simple eh?!?!

There was a time that Ferarri weren't the force they are right now - a time when all that it had was a driver that could drive the pants off anybody. Time and again Mika Hakkinen (a brilliant driver no less!) would have to contend with the Schumi factor. One could see that the scarlet racer was a nervous car, twitching at every corner, underpowered on the straights, but still managing to keep up and beat the far superior silver McLaren- all because of the Schumi factor. It is sheer brilliance, God given talent and one minded focus that makes Schumi what he is today. Who else can drive at 300Kph, keep an eye out for challengers in his rear view mirror and think about strategy at the same time? It is said that when Michael infamously won a race in the pit lane, it was he who called in the plan for that! The sheer audacity of that man amazes me to no end.

people have called him a lot of names - sore loser, cheater, cold, etc. Show me a loser that is not sore and I will show you a loser!!!! What separates the men from the boys is the ability to use each and every tool at your disposal to achieve the goal, and if you are brilliant enough to stretch the rules without breaking them, then why not? I used to love seeing him drive across Mika and then Juan Pablo at the start of races to block their obviously faster cars. People said it was bad sportsmanship - I say it was clever use of limited resources. About being cold, you only have to look at his reaction and consequent remarks after 9/11 to know that is untrue.

Juan Pablo Montoya is an awesome racer, one of the fastest racers I have seen. They say he is the next world champion, I don't think so - not because I am a Ferrari fan, but because a champion needs to have the full package. You have to play hard, with a cool mind, precise thinking under pressure and with supreme confidence - Juan Pablo doesn't quite have it all, I think Fernando Alonso does!!

2004-03-05T15:43:00.000-08:00

Job search!!

The one full time job that a lot of us have in common nowadays is - JOB SEARCH!

Life has more or less been easy for me, barring a few problems that in hindsight actually seem so frivolous that its embarrasing. I had never thought that getting work would be a struggle, that is only something that happened to the underdog hero in Hindi movies of yore. Seems I was wrong, in fact the other day I was actually going door in the San Diego Tech Center, handing out resumes to all and sundry and almost begging for a job!!

Funny isn't it? You graduate with a B.E in India, decide that the grass is greener across the seven seas and do all that it takes to get there. Then you graduate with an M.S in the USA and realise that the jobs seem to be aplenty across the seven seas where you were in the first place - talk about irony. It takes a lot of patience and faith in oneself to be able to ride out this period of unmployment and come out unscarred. I don't remember the last time I laughed with gay abandon and a light heart, had a song on my lips and a twinkle in my eye when I walked down the road.

But like Ma always said, all that happens is for the best. An undying voice in my head always reminds me of this whenever things look bleak. It is true that everyone has to serve their time, some serve it before good things happen, some later - but they all do. All I can do is hunker down, ride out the storm and believe that I was made for great things!

What do you think?

2004-03-04T12:46:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

Seems like I decided to hop on to the bandwagon too!!

Ma always insisted that penning one's thoughts down made for a more organised and polished thinking process, lets hope she was right because the one thing I really need in life is clarity of thought. I have always envied my parents' precise and incisive writing styles, as was evident when they took a sloppy looking SOP and made it something that made me look like I knew exactly what I wanted to study for an M.S. and do in life - and that is no mean feat!!!!!

A lot of my friends seem to like writing, I intend to keep the trend going.